Lessons I Learned from “Kung Fu Panda”
By Maria Myrback
As we all know, there are good days and there are bad days. Yesterday just happened to be a good day. After an afternoon at Disney, I got to have coffee at a little Bohemian place without having to be wheeled in. So YAY! That trip to the coffee house reminded me of just how much I missed that simple pleasure of being out around people who were simply enjoying themselves. The murmur of conversation seasoned liberally with peals of laughter was soothing and it made me happier than I have been in a while.
Yes, I said ‘wheeled in’. Last week, my husband and I came to the decision that, if we wanted to keep going to Disney on a regular basis, I would need a wheelchair that didn’t cost us $12 per visit to the parks. So, thank you Craigslist, we found a nice one with good brakes for $50. That may sound like a lot, but Ken did some research and discovered that, brand new, that same chair cost $350. Ken also found a place to get it adjusted for $35. We can’t complain. That might sound like a good day, but for me, it really wasn’t. It was pretty awful. After all, how often do you get to be reminded that your life is going to Hell and you have to buy the hand basket, yourself? Talk about adding insult to injury.
So, of course, I had guilt. I felt guilty because my husband has to push me around in this ugly contraption. I felt guilty because we had to actually spend money on this thing. I felt guilty because, once more, I failed to get better despite money we spent on medications and the fact that I had to spend money to get medical insurance. I felt guilty because, if I don’t take the costly medications, I have a 60% chance of dying if I go into status epilepticus. I have guilt because if I die, my husband will probably drink himself to death.
I know at this point you’re wondering what the title of the article has to do with anything I’m writing. Don’t worry. We’re getting there.
Ken has been working to find a good price for the new medication my neurologist wants me to try. Vimpat is $625 for a one-month supply here in the US. It’s $83 for 100 pills from Canada, but it could take as long as three weeks to get the meds here. Which means that there is every chance that I could go into nonconvulsive status epilepticus (NCSE) without those meds. The conundrum there is that we have been building up the Vimpat dosage while weaning me off the old anticonvulsants so my body is relying solely on this new medication.
NCSE, or nonconvulsive status epilepticus occurs when an epileptic has a seizure that lasts more than five minutes. During that time, I could stop breathing. My heart could stop beating. Any number of things could happen to end my life. On top of that, NCSE can look like drowsiness or irritability for those of us who don’t have convulsions, so it’s pretty hard to diagnose. As if that all weren’t scary enough, NCSE has a sixty percent mortality rate.
Which brings us (Finally!) to the lessons I learned from one of my favorite animated movies, “Kung Fu Panda”. The main character, a panda named Po, is “accidentally” appointed the long-prophesized Dragon Warrior. Afterwards, the ancient tortoise, Master Oogway finds Po stuffing himself full of peaches since he eats when he is upset.
Oogway tells Po one of the most insightful things I’ve heard, “You are too concerned with what was and what will be. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That is why they call it The Present.”
There is nothing we can do about the past. It is already gone and cannot be changed. We do not know with any certainty what will happen in the future. All we have is right here and right now. This moment.
As terrifying as the future possibilities might be, I cannot do anything to change them. I can prepare, but to constantly anticipate every possibility will only make living life more of a challenge that it already is. Like I did last night at the coffee house, I will try to live more often in the moment because to do less would be to rob myself of what time I do have left.
Unwrap your Present and enjoy it to the fullest.